+ The Digital Catholic +

I just saw a story on CNN about how some men pay $3000 to take a three day course on becoming pickup artists.  Then they went out and tried to test the techniques with a hidden camera.  It didn't work.

Hahaha

Of course, it's not like the scientific method was perfectly adhered to, but if you're paying $3000 for something, you'd probably expect to get something out of that, no?  Maybe they should save the money and pay for personality improvement classes.  Those would probably be free.

February 6th this week is the start of the Lenten season.  For many Christians, especially Catholics, this is the start of the 40 day period where you give up something meaningful, like junk food, bad habits, etc.  This year, I thought it might be interesting, and productive, to give up Facebook.  That's right, Facebook.  Why must all communication with people you haven't seen in years be done on this one website?  Whatever happened to regular e-mailing, or actual phone calling?  I see a lot of my classmates at lunch hour logging on to Facebook right away, and I would do that too sometimes.  I bet people were far more productive back in the days when there was no computer or internet around.  It's funny how software companies claim that their products actually increase personal productivity and time management.  I think what they should be saying is that their products increase convenience and promote laziness, so that you actually end up spending more time on the computer than you need to.  Lent this year is certainly going to be interesting.  This will also help to distinguish the real friends from those friends "of convenience".

This weekend, the one and only Fr. Roderick from the Netherlands was actually here in Winnipeg!  I got the chance to finally meet the priest behind the Catholic podcasting phenomenon of SQPN.com.  The weekend was awesome!  Saturday he did an excellent presentation about podcasting and catechesis at a formal dinner function.  The day after, he concelebrated Sunday mass and delivered a wonderful homily.  Everyone that met him here is hoping that he one day revisits this great Canadian city!

The following article is taken from: http://www.bustedhalo.com/features/PureSexPureLove60ThirdWheel.htm

~~~~

Pure Sex, Pure Love

Third Wheel

Is the married vs. single dynamic causing a strain in your friendships?

By Dr. Christine B. Whelan

Anita, 26, had two close friends in college. These were the girls she could always call for a chat, who would be interested in planning a fun trip, going shopping, or confiding secrets. But a few years after college, both women got married—and Anita felt left out in the cold.

“They're really not my best friends anymore" she told me. "Their husbands have become their best friend and it has put distance between us.”

Anita said she feels pressure to find a guy and settle down so she can reestablish her friendship with these women, as part of a couple. “It's like they're part of this married club that they're waiting for me to join in. But I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon and possibly never so it's annoying that they think my life is incomplete because I'm not in a relationship or I'm not married.”

Former Friends

Are your friendships suffering because some of you are in relationships and others aren’t? According to my national Harris Interactive research, 84% of women and 78% of men report that they have become estranged from or lost friends because they were at different stages of life. A recent survey on Busted Halo© had similar results: 65% of respondents said they have lost or become estranged from friends because they were doing different things with their lives.

We’re all on different paths, and especially in that decade after college— when some people are marrying earlier than others, some are having kids sooner than others—friendships can feel strained.

Ask yourself this: If you are single, are you calling your married friends less frequently because you assume they’ll be busy? If you are married or in a relationship, do you prefer doing things with other couples, and leave out your single friends?
Are you ditching your friends because they are at different life stages—or are they ditching you?

"Are you ditching your friends because they are at different life stages-or are they ditching you?."

Toll Taking

Amelia, 25, said a close friend of hers got married and “suddenly dropped off the face of the earth.” Mike, 27, said he lost friends after high-school graduation, as each person went their own way: some to college, some to jobs, some in new relationships. And Elizabeth, 27, said she feels estranged from her friend two children: “I don't want to hear about her complain about her amazing husband and gorgeous little girls when I have problems finding a decent date.”

At the beginning of a relationship, your friend might be putting all her energy into her new love—and might not have a lot left for you. And getting married can mean moving, living together for the first time and adjusting to a new schedule, all of which takes time away from emailing, phone calls and get-togethers with friends. Single or married, these life changes take a toll on friendships.

Here are a few scenarios. What have you done in these situations—and might you act differently in the future?

Scenario #1: It’s 7 p.m. on a Thursday and your evening plans just fell through. Are you more likely to call a single friend or a married friend to see what they are up to?

85% of respondents—both single and married—said they’d be more likely to call a single friend than a married friend.

Are single people perceived to have more free time, to be more likely to go out, or to be less likely to have firm plans for the evening? Are married people assumed to be hanging out together all the time, or to be less interested in an impromptu event? These assumptions can be hurtful to both single and married folks: Single folks may resent being the “backup plan” but married folks wonder why the phone calls and invitations have dried up.

Scenario #2: You and your spouse are having a dinner party. You are inviting two couples and you have a single friend you’d like to invite…or another couple. How important is it for you to have equal numbers of guys and girls at your dinner party?

According to Busted Halo© respondents, 36% say it’s somewhat important to have equal numbers of men and women at a dinner party and 36% say it’s not important. Singles frequently complain that they are left out of dinner parties or weekends away because the host or hostess wants even numbers of couples.

Even when a single person is included, he or she can feel left out of the fun: Christine, 23, said she was once unknowingly a 7th wheel at a weekend down the shore. “While they slept in the bedrooms with their loves I got the couch. Come the next morning, I went and got breakfast foods and cooked a huge table, but all the couples slept until noon. I'm never going somewhere with 3 couples ever again,” she said.

Scenario #3: You want to offer some advice to a friend about how to handle his or her relationship. Are some topics off limits when friends are in serious relationships?

Busted Halo© respondents are split 50/50 on this question.

“Dissing the friend's significant other is rarely acceptable,” said Lisa, 24. And David, 24, said he’ll listen when his buddy has relationship problems, but won’t give advice. “He will tell her and then you won't be allowed to see him without her anymore. You have to keep your mouth shut if you ever want to see your friend. The best you can do is listen and maybe give a suggestion but never any criticism.”

Here’s my take on all these issues: Pick up the phone, send an email and reach out to your single and married friends alike. Dinner party numbers aren’t nearly as important as having people you love by your side, and an honest friend offers tactful advice when appropriate. Marriage is sacred, but friendships are a blessing that should be cherished and nurtured—regardless of your relationship status.

Have a story you’d like to share?

Write me at puresex@bustedhalo.com.

Read more articles from our popular relationship column, Pure Sex Pure Love.

Dr. Christine B. Whelan, 30, is an Iowa-based social historian. Her book Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women (Simon & Schuster) is in stores now and is also available on this site at the Halo Store. Visit her book's site to see her Good Morning America, CNN and other TV appearances, read reviews of the book from various publications, including the Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal.

She can be reached at puresex@bustedhalo.com

This was the very first episode of CSI that I have ever watched.  The only reason I watched it was because it involved the Catholic Church, and a priest suspected of murder.  The victim was found strangled by a rosary, and was crucified, hanging from the rafters of a church.  (How could I not watch this show!) 

This episode had a number of themes worth mentioning.

• God or the girl?  The priest was willing to leave the priesthood for the love of a woman.  Deciding whether to pursue the priesthood or to pursue married life is something that almost every young man considering the priesthood wrestles with.
• Confession.  The priest cannot reveal any sins revealed in the confessional.  The true murderer confessed to killing the victim "for cheating on me with you", for cheating on him with the priest, that is.  That angered the priest so much that he jumped out of his stall and assaulted the guilty man.  Yet later when questioned, the priest did not reveal who the true murderer was, but instead, sacrificed his own innocence by falsely saying that he himself was the murderer - thus protecting the guilty.  The innocent sacrificing his own life for the guilty... sounds like something Christ himself did by dying on the cross for us all.
• Guilt.  The episode played on this a lot.  For example, the interrogator said to the priest, " In our world you're either innocent or guilty."  The priest replied, "In my world you can be both."  So, how so?  I can feel guilt for knowing that someone was murdered, even though I am innocent in that person's death.  There are countless other examples.
• Forgiveness.  At the end of the episode, the priest is asked by an authority, regarding the murderer, "Can you forgive him?"  The priest replies, "That's Christ's mandate.  You know what that means."  The authority responds, " You have no choice."  The way Catholics express love for God is by loving their neighbour, which involves forgiveness... forgiveness of friend and foe.  No, it's not easy - if it were, are world would be a lot more peaceful, but people hold grudges, anger, hate, and thus we end up with all the quarrelling and fear that is in our world today.

With all the hype on New Year's Eve parties and what-not, why not try an alternative to the loudness of it all?  Simplicity certainly can work wonders for making one recognize the good fortune that one has in life.  So with that in mind, I'm keeping it simple this New Year's Eve.  I went to mass at St. Ignatius tonight.  The mass was presided by Archbishop James and was celebrated in both English and Spanish, which certainly made for an interesting evening.  It felt like I was in another continent at times!  The beauty of celebrating mass with the archbishop is in getting to hear his homily (ie. sermon).  He has a wonderful gift of being able to convey very practical and yet profound messages to the people.  In a nutshell, these were the main points of his lesson:

• Christmas is not something that ends as soon as you open your presents on Christmas Day.  Catholics celebrate the Christmas spirit for eight consecutive days, meaning that the spirit of love and giving should extend past December 25th, all the way to January 1st, and in fact, it should extend throughout the entire year. 
• Each and every individual should never forget that he/she is tremendously loved by God.  Thus we are all special and important in our own ways and we must never lose sight of that, especially in times of hardships.
• The typical New Year's resolutions of losing weight, eating healthier, etc. are useful, but trite.  Rather than focus on such resolutions that focus on self, we should direct our resolutions outwards towards others.  Why not resolve to give more of your time, patience, love, etc. to others?
• The mix of Spanish and English in one harmonious mass celebration is an example of how we ought to live with others.  Especially when we encounter difficulty relating to others who may seem so different from us, those are the times when we must remember Christ's example of love for neighbour.
• Mary is the model of how we ought to live our lives.  She was not afraid to trust that accepting to be the Mother of God was the right decision.  We also need to trust in God, in good times and in bad.

Following mass was a small reception of coffee and snacks in the parish hall.  I certainly was surprised and thrilled when Archbishop James told me he selected me to lector (ie. read scripture passages to the congregation at mass) in Sydney, Australia this summer!  What this means is that I may possible get a chance to get REAL up close and personal with none other than Pope Benedict XVI!  If this actually happens in July 2008, it's certainly going to have a tremendous effect on my vocation!  Now all I need to do is somehow save up over three grand to get myself down under.  Archbishop James also told me to change my hairstyle.  (He was joking of course.)  He also got to meet my dad, which my dad was very happy about.  It's amazing how approachable and friendly our archbishop is.

One more thing.  I said hello to one of the local priests at St. Ignatius tonight, and he was a priest that before then, I would have only seen in the confession room.  I wonder if he recognizes me as the fellow who confessed to doing all those sinful things I mentioned!  And, what does the archbishop do on New Year's Eve?  Stay home alone and go to bed at ten.  I love simplicity!

I was watching the 1989 Batman film tonight and came to a realization that Batman's lifestyle is like that of a priest.  Think about it.  The priest sacrifices his life for the greater good of others.  He challenges society's norms by living counter-culturally, sacrificing having a family and the pursuit of wealth, among other things.  The priest takes the vow of celibacy in order to devote his energies and time into serving God by serving others, which means that should the priest find a woman falling for him, he is obliged not to get romantically involved as this would compromise his ability to devote all his energies toward God.  Same goes for Bruce Wayne, a.k.a. Batman.  Bruce sacrifices his way of living in order to serve and protect the innocent.  He also is an unmarried man and remains that way as long as he has his crime-fighting career.  There was a scene in the 1989 Batman film that emphasized this.  Bruce's interest Vicki Vale, once she was let into the batcave, confronts Bruce and asks "why won't you let me in?"  By this she is questioning why Bruce seems to be careful in how attached he becomes to her.  She wants to know if the two of them will ever try to love each other.  Bruce loves Vicki but refuses to commit fully to her.  Bruce is committed to his alter-ego.  The priest is committed to his Church.  Both of them are men of sacrifice.  Both of them are heroes.

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. -John 15:13

LONDON, England (AP) -- Tony Blair, who often kept his religious views private while serving as Britain's prime minister, has converted to Catholicism, officials said Saturday.

Blair, who had long been a member of the Church of England, converted to the Catholic faith during a Mass held Friday night at a chapel in London, the Catholic Church said.

"It can be confirmed that Tony Blair has been received into full communion with the Catholic Church by Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor," the head of the church in England and Wales, the church said in a statement.

"I'm very glad to welcome Tony Blair into the Catholic Church," the statement quoted Murphy-O'Connor as saying.

"For a long time he's been a regular worshipper at Mass with his family and in recent months he's been following a program of formation for his reception into full communion. Our prayers are with him, his family and his wife at this joyful moment in their journey of faith together," Murphy-O'Connor said.

There had long been speculation that Blair planned to convert to Catholicism. His wife, Cherie, is Roman Catholic, the couple's children have attended Catholic schools, and Blair had regularly attended Catholic, rather than Anglican, services.

Blair, who is now a Middle East peace envoy, met Pope Benedict XVI at the Vatican in June.

The former prime minister told the BBC this year that he had avoided talking about his religious views while in office for about 10 years for fear of being labeled "a nutter."

In England's last census, 72 percent of people identified themselves as Christian. Many are Anglicans affiliated with the Church of England, which was created by royal proclamation during the 16th century after King Henry VIII -- who married six times -- broke ties with the Roman Catholic Church in a dispute over divorce.

The Church of England has said that less than 10 percent of its members are regular churchgoers.

Britons often are surprised by people who openly and fervently discuss their religious views, and the degree to which faiths such as evangelicalism can influence U.S. politics.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/12/22/catholic.blair.ap/index.html

By now you know about the 16 year old pregnant Spears.  There's enough commentary going around about this, but I'll just add in one more comment that I have posted before.  The following is from Francis Cardinal Arinze.

"In many parts of world, the family is under siege, opposed by an anti-life mentality as is seen in contraception, abortion, infanticide and euthanasia. It is scorned and banalised by pornography, desecrated by fornication and adultery, mocked by homosexuality, sabotaged by irregular unions, and cut in two by divorce."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/pope/story/0,12272,1055080,00.html

At a coffee shop recently, I overheard some old chaps talking about how messed up society is in terms of the lack of modesty in today's Western culture.  One of them said that all he has to do is step out his front door to witness this lack of modesty.  I agree.

http://umanitoba.ca/colleges/st_pauls/376.htm

How do you discern what to do in moments of decision making?  Sometimes it can be difficult to discern what to do, especially in times when a decision can have significant impact on the course of future events.  So what are we to do?  I was chatting with my archbishop yesterday, and he reminded me that whatever you do, one of the worst things you can do is NOT doing anything.  If that's the way we'd prefer to live our lives, then why not just stay in bed all day and not do anything?

Decision making is also a personal process.  When I asked my archbishop on what he thought I should do in a particular dilemma of mine he said: "I can give you the principles, but you make the decision."  Well said!

It's been about a month since my last post.  I've been really busy with school and the exams were relentless... but now I have three weeks to pretty much blog every day.  So here we go...

In everything that happens in daily life, it seems God can be either present, or absent.  Usually when we feel that things are going our way, those are the times when we believe that God is present.  If the exam goes well, if someone gives us a compliment, if we find our missing keys, if we manage to say that a particular day was a "good" day... then God must have been there.  On the other hand, if the car doesn't start, if we get cut off in traffic, if we get into a car accident, if we are insulted... where was God?  Truth is, God is always present, and even in times of despair, there is a certain grace that only God can provide.  That grace helps us to remember that despite all the hardships in life, good still exists, and through God, the potential for good is infinite.

During one of my more challenging exams, right before it began, one of my classmates jumped up and said that we all do a prayer that God will help us pass the exam.  We need more brave souls like her!

While discussing with a classmate today the effectiveness of various treatments for pain, the subject of the placebo effect came up.

Me: "Not all placebo's a bad thing."
Classmate: "Is that why people believe in Jesus?"

I couldn't stop laughing...  :p

http://www.csbsju.edu/academicadvising/helplist.htm

23 TIME MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES

STUDY WHEN:

• Plan two study hours for every hour you spend in class.
• Study difficult (or boring) subjects first.
• Avoid scheduling marathon study sessions.
• Be aware of your best time of day.
• Use waiting time.
• Use a regular study area.

STUDY WHERE:

• Choose a place that minimizes visual and auditory distractions.
• Use the library or empty classrooms. Get out of a noisy dorm.
• Don't get too comfortable. Sit (or even stand) so that you can remain awake and attentive.
• Find a better place when productivity falls off.

YOU AND THE OUTSIDE WORLD:

• Pay attention to your attention.
• Agree with roommates about study time.
• Avoid noise distractions.
• Notice how others misuse your time.
• Get off the phone.
• Learn to say no.
• Hang a "Do Not Disturb!" sign on your door.
• Ask: "What is one task I can accomplish toward my goal?"
• Ask: "Am I beating myself up?" (lighten up, don't berate self).
• Ask: "Is this a piano?" (or, "Are you a perfectionist?")
• Ask: "How did I just waste time?"
• Ask: "Would I pay myself for what I'm doing right now?"
• Ask: "Can I do just one more thing?" (Stretch yourself).
  
  http://www.csbsju.edu/academicadvising/help/23tmt.htm

 

STUDY FORMULA SQ3R

I. SURVEY II. QUESTION III. READ IV. RECITE V. REVIEW

Survey and question at the same time to find what the material contains. (Read and reread or read, write and say aloud.)

I. & II. Survey and Question - Method

• READ title, author, introduction, table or contents, and skim through sections of the book noting illustrations, size of print, chapter, glossary, appendix, and other sources of quick information. Skim the index for unknown terms.
• QUESTIONS. Who, what, when, where, and what emphasis? What aspect is my weakest point? What will need to be memorized?
• SELECT a Chapter. Read introductory paragraph. Skim with a pencil. Mark any who, what, when, where, or other vocabulary that is unknown. Stop to read headings,subheadings, and last paragraph. If the material is very difficult, read the first sentence of each paragraph. This survey should not take more than a minute and should show at least three to six core ideas.
• QUESTION. Now turn the first heading into a question.

III. READ

Read to the end of the first headed section to answer this question. Make this an active search for the answer. Underline only key words--never whole paragraphs. restate in your own words the relationship being made. Use a dictionary if necessary. No note should be written until the whole headed section has been read.

IV. RECITE.

Now look away from the book and try briefly to recite the answer to your question. Use your own words and cite an example. You can jot down from memory brief cue phrases in outline form on a sheet of paper. These should be brief and your own words. If you cannot do this, glance over the selection again.

Now repeat steps QUESTION, III, and IV with each successive headed section. Do this until the entire lesson is completed.

V. REVIEW.

When the lesson has been studied in this way, check your memory by reciting the major subpoints under each heading. You can do this by covering up the notes and trying to recall the subpoint listed under it. Review daily during the period of time before class exam. Review should probably not be longer than five minutes. It is a good idea to try and for two hours daily. Make a study plan so that time is available!

http://www.csbsju.edu/academicadvising/help/sq3r.htm

REMEMBERING WHAT YOU READ

"I just can't seem to remember well enough to pass the test."

"Names give me trouble. I can't seem to remember them."

"There are so many different items that I can't remember the prices."

Have any of these thoughts ever applied to you? At final exam time, for instance, you may have difficulty remembering important information. Why is this so? Why are some things more difficult to remember than others?

You can remember facts if you need to remember them and if you want to remember them. In other words, your purpose and your motivation make it possible for you to recall facts. You may not be able to remember your teacher's name, but it is easy to remember the name of the girl you met at the dance last week--or remember certain information, your purpose for remembering stands out sharply. You can't seem to remember facts about the geography of a country that doesn't interest you, but facts about the country you are all excited about visiting next summer are easy to remember. Why? Because you have a special reason (purpose) for remembering about the country. You are motivated and that helps you to concentrate harder. Increased concentration, in turn, make the information easier to remember. Your purpose helps you to decide which information to remember, because purpose directs your attention to what you want to know.

Read the following paragraph only once. Assume that your purpose in reading is to remember as many of the advantages of physical fitness as you can:

Physical fitness increases the efficiency of your lungs and your heart. It helps you to control your weight and it is an aid to you in controlling emotional tension and anxiety. It also helps you to withstand physical fatigue for a longer time.

How many advantages do you remember? Do you think that you will remember information longer when you know what you are looking for? Do you think that you will remember the advantages of physical fitness longer if you are personally concerned about it?

Now that you see how purpose and motivation help you to remember, let us consider the processes that increase your ability to remember.

ASSOCIATION: When you associate, you make the things you want to remember relate to each other in some way. Once you know what your purpose in reading--that is, once you know the information you are looking for--you can try to remember this information by fitting it into some general category.

VISUALIZATION: Visualization helps you to create a strong, vivid memory. Try to picture in your mind what you wish to remember. Try to remember a man's name for example, by seeing his face in your mind and associating his name with it. You can remember an important date in history (perhaps a battle or a peace meeting or an inaugurating) by picturing the scene in your mind with the date in big letters in front of this visualization.

CONCENTRATION: What is concentration? People often say that they can't concentrate or that they will never be able to learn to concentrate better. Quite often it is our way of life that takes away our former ability in this area. Small children are well skilled in concentration. Have you ever seen a youngster so absorbed in playing a game or in reading or in just daydreaming, or visualizing, that he doesn't hear when his parents call? He is punished for this and soon learns that he shouldn't concentrate as hard on what he is doing, but that he should gear some of his attention to listening for his parent's (or teacher's) call.

Concentration can be defined as focusing attention on one thing and to one thing only. When you do an exercise which provides an opportunity for you to do this, it is basically an exercise in concentration. How can you learn to concentrate better? Visualizing will help. Visualizing forces attention to one thing only. If you try to see specific pictures as you read, it will help you to concentrate. Not looking back will also help you to concentrate. When you do not allow yourself to look back, you force yourself to concentrate in order to get the meaning the first time. Making sure of your purpose in a third way to force concentration. When you read for a particular purpose, you will concentrate on what you read because, as you read, you ask yourself, "Does this satisfy my purpose?"

REPETITION: When you have difficulty remembering textbook information, you should repeat the procedures for associating, visualizing, and concentration. The first step in remembering a list, for example, is to categorize it (association) and visualize it (thus forcing concentration). Do this once and then repeat the same task frequently. The repetition will help burn the information into your memory.

Now, how do you apply association, visualization, concentration, and repetition to remembering information in textbook chapters?

Try to understand the general outline of the chapter. Understanding how the chapter is put together provides a skeleton to which you can associate specific information.

Visualize as you read. Try to see pictures.

Concentrate as you read. Try to read information one time and then without looking back tell yourself what was said.

Repeat where necessary to burn details into your memory.

Remembering what you read

Purpose --Have a specific purpose when you read. This will help you to:

ASSOCIATE: Relate ideas to each other.

VISUALIZE: Try to see pictures in your mind as you read.

CONCENTRATE: Have a specific purpose, associating, and visualizing will help you to do this.

REPEAT: Keep telling yourself important points and associate details to these points.

http://www.csbsju.edu/academicadvising/help/remread.htm

http://www.phatmass.com/store/poster_b16.html

There's a first time for everything, including losing a good friend out of the blue.

Obituary

ROBERT (BOB) GAUL (published on November 03, 2007)

ROBERT (BOB) GAUL Suddenly, on November 1, 2007, Bob Gaul passed away at the Health Sciences Centre. Funeral arrangements are pending and a longer obituary will follow. The Coutu family in care of arrangements: E.J. COUTU CO. FUNERAL DIRECTORS 680 Archibald St. 253-5086

http://www.passagesmb.com/obituary_details.cfm?ObitID=126982

Bob was such a friendly gentleman.  I would see him and exchange a few jokes with him on Sunday mornings doing volunteer work at the Miz, and now, all of a sudden, he's gone.  Just like that.

Gone.

You know those stages of shock that people go through that includes denial?  When I first heard the bad news this morning, I couldn't believe it.  It's funny because sometimes, people whom you just assume are always going to be there can sometimes all a sudden not be there.  Bob was such a vibrant and healthy man too, that his sudden death is like a reality check that each of us really never know when it's our turn to meet our maker.  I have full confidence that Bob, through his passing, is now enjoying in the paradise promised to us by God himself.

Rest in peace Bob.

Just watch it and see.  The title above says it all...

http://romancatholicvocations.blogspot.com/

http://romancatholicvocations.blogspot.com/

  http://acatholiclife.blogspot.com/

  http://acatholiclife.blogspot.com/

Part of the purpose of having this blog is to address the many questions I come across pertaining to the Catholic Church.  Here is another one I came across today:  how can an unmarried priest give advice on marriage if he's not married himself?

The simple answer is, why not?  If you were to come to me for advice, is there a rule saying that my advice is only valid if I happen to be going through the exact same circumstances as what you're going through?  For example, if you find out that your spouse is cheating on you, and if I happen to be a very close friend of yours, why would you not want my advice on what to do?  Friends do this amongst themselves all the time!  One friend may ask me for help on how to get out of his spell of depression, another friend may ask me what to do because he's going through a crisis in deciding what kind of career to pursue.  In such examples, amongst a whole slew of others, I may not have personally experienced major bouts of depression, or a crisis of vocation, but in both instances, I can use my moral judgement and principles to decide what the best course of action in both cases may be.  Do you think people come to Dr.Phil for advice because he's gone through the same crap that millions of others have gone through?  Why should he give advice on divorce if he's never divorced?  Why should he give advice on overcoming obesity if he's not obese himself?  Why should he give advice on dealing with female family members that dress like skanks in public if none of his family members do the same thing?  It's obvious I could go on and on...

Many people fail to remember that there also are deacons that a couple could seek for marriage advice.  If you're bitter about seeing a priest for marriage advice, then go see a deacon, no one's stopping you.  Deacons are ordained ministers in the Catholic Church who are married.  Deacons can also help in marriage counselling, and can also apply their sound knowledge of theological principles to make sound judgements about various issues and concerns.

Perhaps if people were not so quick to rush into marriages would we not have such high divorce rates that we have nowadays.

"In many parts of world, the family is under siege, opposed by an anti-life mentality as is seen in contraception, abortion, infanticide and euthanasia. It is scorned and banalised by pornography, desecrated by fornication and adultery, mocked by homosexuality, sabotaged by irregular unions, and cut in two by divorce." 

-Francis Cardinal Arinze
http://www.guardian.co.uk/pope/story/0,12272,1055080,00.html

In the Winnipeg Sun today:

October 27, 2007

Gay peace activist disinvited from conference

By ROB NAY, SUN MEDIA

A gay peace activist who was once held hostage in Iraq won't be attending a Catholic conference taking place in Winnipeg this weekend after his speaking invitation was withdrawn.

"I feel that at the root it's because I'm gay," said James Loney, a Roman Catholic.

Loney said Winnipeg Archbishop James Weisgerber told him over the phone that his speaking engagement had been cancelled because of his disagreements with church teachings on sexuality.

'DEVASTATED'

John Robson, a co-organizer of the social justice conference, said he was "devastated" by the decision.

"I think it was very unjust," he said.

As a result of the can cellation, Robson and his wife Nerina have decided not to attend the conference, despite having helped arrange it.

The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Winnipeg declined to comment when contacted by Sun Media.

Loney said he was told there were threats people would picket his appearance.

A message posted on Life Site, a website started by anti-abortion group Campaign Life Coalition, calls Loney an "unrepentant, active homosexual" and says Catholics have complained to the Winnipeg Archdiocese about the choice of speakers at the conference.

Loney said the cancellation reminds him of when he was held hostage by insurgents in Iraq.

"When I was in captivity I had to keep my sexual identity a secret from my captors," he said, adding he could have been killed if his captors knew he was gay.

Loney, fellow Canadian Harmeet Sooden, Briton Norm Kember and American Tom Fox of Christian Peacemaker Teams were kidnapped at gunpoint on a Baghdad street in November 2005.

Their kidnappers, from a group calling itself the Swords of Righteousness Brigades, demanded the release of Iraqi detainees.

Fox's body was found dumped on the streets of Baghdad in March 2006.

Loney and the remaining hostages were rescued in a military coalition operation later that month.

OPEN DIALOGUE

Although his speaking invitation was rescinded, Loney said he just wants an open dialogue within the Catholic church.

"I respect the Archbishop. He seems like a very good and compassionate man, but I happen to disagree with his decision," said Loney. "I would invite him to change his mind."

After being turfed by one church, another has stepped in to let Loney speak.

He will deliver a message on pacifism and gospel teachings at Augustine United Church on River Avenue tomorrow at 1:30 p.m.

http://www.winnipegsun.com/News/Winnipeg/2007/10/27/pf-4609276.html

Some anti-Catholics may use this issue as ammo, quick to point out that Catholics are all intolerent of gays.  Let me clear this up now:  Catholics are not against gay persons, but rather, they are against their actions of homosexual fornication.  Such activity even between heterosexuals is also considered unacceptable, hence this intolerance for fornication applies not just to homosexuals but also to heterosexuals.  The simple reason for this is that it's against God's plan, where the sinners are now putting themselves above God, deciding for themselves what the "right" thing is to do. 

The following is from: http://romancatholicvocations.blogspot.com/2007/10/celibacy-is-not-issue-fidelity-is.html

~~~

Celibacy has been blamed for everything from the vocations "crisis" to the recent abuse scandal in the Church.
A few of my thoughts:

• Other denominations are experiencing a "vocations" shortage, and in many cases worse shortages, than the Roman Catholic Church. The Episcopalians are an example and they allow every type of person to live non-celibate "priesthoods". Women, married women, men, married men, homosexuals, and openly sexually active homosexuals. "Vocations" shortage just the same.
• Other religious denominations are plagued by abuse scandals as well, they're just not reported on as heavily as those in the Catholic Church. This is not to diminish the outrage that the abuse scandal has been, and the damage it has done to the Roman Catholic Church as well as the dignity of the priesthood in the eyes of many. It is to say that celibacy had nothing to do with it. A lack of faithfulness had everything to do with it.
• In regards to sexual misconduct and abuse specifically, the single largest group of pedophiles in the world, by a long shot, are married, or formerly married, men ("more than 70 percent of the males who molest children report themselves as heterosexual, and most are, or have been, married. "). The media simply ignores the plague that is sexual abuse in America. Best estimates are that between 50% and 66% of all adult women have been sexually molested or abused in some way, at some point in their life, with the overwhelming majority of those at the hands of men that supposedly love them. Of those men, virtually ALL OF THEM are NOT "CELIBATE.
• In education the numbers are terrible, and again none of the perpetrators are vowed celibates: From a CNS Story: A national survey of 2,064 students in 2000 showed that 9.6 percent of public school students from kindergarten through 11th grade reported unwanted sexual harassment or abuse by public school employees, mostly educators, said Shakeshaft, professor of educational policies at Hofstra University in Huntington, N.Y. The survey, done by the American Association of University Women, listed educators as responsible for 57 percent of the abuse with the rest done by other employees such as bus drivers and teachers' aides. Regarding victims, 56 percent of the reported abuses were against girls. Regarding offenders, students reported that 57 percent were males. If the survey were projected over the entire public school system, it would mean that 4.5 million students are subject to sexual abuse or harassment by [non-celibate] school employees, said Shakeshaft. Shakeshaft said a 1994 study she did on disciplinary action against 225 public school teachers who admitted sexually abusing children in New York state showed a lax policy. Only 15 percent were terminated and 25 percent received no disciplinary consequences, she said. Of the rest, 39 percent left the school district, many with a positive recommendation to teach elsewhere, and the rest were informally reprimanded, she said. Experts studying child sex abuse often refer to the sending of child-abusing teachers to other school districts as "passing the trash."
• More on the subject of sexual misconduct in US Schools: AP: Sexual Misconduct Plagues US Schools Hat tip to the Curt Jester for finding this article, and inciting me to make this post. In his usual comic sarcasm his post is entitled: "I had no idea that ...
  ... so many teachers must have taken a vow of celibacy."

As I said, celibacy is NOT the issue, FIDELITY IS. What we need in the Church today are not simply vocations, but holy vocations, and in the case of the priesthood we need virtuos, heroic men, like the overwhelming majority of priests are, and have been, throughout the history of the Church.

Televangelist Don Stewart offers green "prosperity cloths" on his show, and one can get one by simply phoning for one.  His program shows us testimonials of people using such a cloth to turn their lives around, as through getting new jobs, or getting out of financial debt.  Can such a little green cloth really do all that, and more?

Proponents against all forms of religion may see this as a clear reason as to why religion can be nonsensical.  Religion certainly is valuable when approached with good moral attitudes, however, just like everything else in the world, it has its imperfections, one of which is when some may use it to their own advantage.  The following is taken from Don Stewart's website:

MAKE A VOW OF TITHE BY FAITH!

A Vow of Tithe by faith is a sacred promise to give God a special offering in advance, based on what we believe God will give us in the future. It’s the same as planting seed today for a future harvest. Since this is a vow on future earnings and blessings, the amount of your vow will be determined by what you are expecting God to do for you. If you are believing for big blessings, then you make a big vow of tithe by faith. The greater your need…the bigger your expectations for the future…the bigger your vow. In other words, the more seed you plant, the greater your harvest will be.

In simple terms, here’s how it works. How much money do you need? If you make a vow of tithe for $1,000, it means you are believing God for $10,000 [emphasis mine]. If you make a Vow of $2,000, it means you’re believing for $20,000. Your future need may be much greater than that. You set the level of your need and vow to give to God according to that need.
I challenge you to make a vow of $1,000 or more.
http://www.donstewarttv.com/Home/GiveOnline/tabid/5387/Default.aspx

For some people, especially those who have lost all hope and are desperate to try anything to get themselves out of whatever hardships they may be in, Stewart's appeal can sound quite inviting.  If you go to church, your church shouldn't be egging you on to give thousands of dollars, and saying that the amount you believe in God is based on how much money you donate!  That is absurd, and is a manipulative way of persuading the vulnerable to give more and more, believing that the more they give, the more they believe in God, and the more God will want to answer their prayers for that new car!

When's the last time you heard a priest say that the more you put in the collection basket, the more God will love you?  The bottom line here is this: God loves us all equally well, the only problem is that too many choose not to reciprocate or even acknowledge that love, resulting in... evil.

Recently, I found out that right here in Canada we have one of the most beautiful churches in the world, the Notre-Dame Basilica in Montreal.  Thanks to my Protestant friend for pointing this church out to me!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Notre-Dame_de_Montr%C3%A9al_Basilica
http://www.therewaslight.ca/

Walking past an elementary school playground today, I noticed that some of the kids during recess wore vests that had the words "Conflict Manager" across them.  I also saw those kids mediating a dispute between two younger boys.  I never had such peer counselling back when I was still playing recess at school, but to have the kids involved in helping out their peers sort out their disagreements is a fabulous idea.